I haven’t found the time to write about feminism and womanhood in a long time. I’m not sure why. It’s not like there’s been lack of inspiration in the press or from the government. It has merely taken a back seat while I’ve cultivated other areas of my life. But don’t worry, I’m still an angry feminist.
And, there’s something about International Women’s Day that compels me to take a stance & have an opinion.
I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by intelligent, powerhouse women every single day – at home, at work, in my social circles. These are women all at different life stages, leading different lives, with different priorities. They all know me, but they don’t all know each other… and yet, the conversations I have with each and every one of them are intrinsically connected.
Connected by the fact that we’re fucking fed up.
Don’t get me wrong, we are also happy. Some have beautiful families, or flourishing careers, or the most amazing personalities that people just gravitate towards…so much to be grateful for and feel positive about, but there is always the undercurrent of feeling a bit fucking fed up.
Fed up with feeling undervalued in the household for the unpaid labour that more often than not falls on the shoulders of women.
Fed up with women’s health being so under funded and under researched that you go to your GP looking for solutions, and come out feeling more confused and down trodden than before.
Fed up with being given the remedial admin tasks more often than anyone else on the senior board at work, because they know you’ll do them no questions asked* (let’s face it, without them the cogs would come off, but it’s not respected like that…).
Fed up with pumping your body full of hormones all the time because preventing pregnancy is obviously the job of women, duh!
Fed up with fighting for the most basic shreds of respect because you dare to live your life as who you truly are (Brianna Ghey you will be etched in my memory forever).
Fed up with justifying the decisions you make about your own body… what you wear, whether to become a parent, deciding an abortion is best for you, what you pierce, what you want to change, whether or not you breast feed…
Fed up with the world’s opinions about your body… too fat, too thin, not muscley enough, not curvy enough, too dark, too masculine, too tall, not petite enough.
*Fed up with doing more of the leg work and putting more effort into your career, and still not getting paid for the privilege (white women… did you know you worked for free for the first two months of the year? And it’s an even bleaker picture for Black, Asian, part-time, working class women).
Fed up with not feeling safe. Anywhere, ever, if you’re on your own. Or sometimes even when you’re with friends.
Fed up of always having to adapt our behaviour, and change how we do things to protect ourselves, or make others feel more comfortable.
Fed up with reaching 50 and becoming invisible to the world.
Fed up of the menopause being so deeply misunderstood, even by health care professionals, that you accept living a substandard life for years and years.
Fed up with the women in power in this country doing us all the most horrifying disservice with their abhorrent decisions & policies – they do not represent us.
We’re fucking fed up.
So please, please still do your posts for international women’s day – god knows the women in your life need a thank you. But we need so much more. We need help. We need support. We need women’s health funding. We need respect for trans-women. We need to be paid fairly for the work we do. We need you to speak up & to fight for us.
A post on social media on 8th March does not an ally make.
So do more, do better & challenge this shitty world to work harder for women.